I pretty much ignore primers now, except if they're pierced. They can be softer or harder. And different brass is also softer or harder...if a I get a stiffish bolt I will try another brand of brass with the load. PPU beats Federal etc.
And a case head failure is no big deal, I posted a photo of one I had last week. Didn't even notice it, and the bullet still fell in the group, but the case was blown in half.
But I listen to the Chronograph. If I am getting more velocity than the book, then I am getting more pressure. I will go over book loads, but I don't go over book velocities. And I pay attention to how much cases stretch. Not that I wont use a heavy load that pushes brass, but I am aware that the compromise is lessor case life.
Bookmarks