Thread: Deer taking over Lower Hutt

Just an observation............but I am picking the press will now pick up any reports of 'dangerous evil' deer in suburban areas and splash them across the media to create a ground swell of opinion in the public, which will lead to the Govt and Doc increasing their 'search and destroy' efforts. Similar to the way public opinion was manipulated against firearms.

There will be tales of 'snowflakes' fearing for their lives as wild eyed deer move into the suburbs bent on attacking humans for food......Counsellors will take special courses to help those who encounter deer to assist them to deal with PTSD........ Deer netting will be in short supply as homeowners 'deer proof' their property to keep the hordes out..... 'Stag' parties will have to be renamed cos of the stress and connotations the term will engender and instead will be referred to as 'Non Gender Specific Prenuptial celebrations.........Neighbourhood watch will now focus on deer sightings instead of suspicious behaviour so they can ring the Cervid hotline which will despatch an extermination team ( who's response time will make the Police look like they walked to any emergency callouts) .........There will be scripted reality tv shows with names like 'Suburban Survivor' and 'Naked and Afraid in NaeNae'......The Govt will introduce more draconian legislation under urgency using the slogan 'Lets Make NZ Safer' and refer to the 'Team of Five Million'........ Eugenie Sage will write a book entitled 'I Did Warn You' and give updates on television daily at midday accompanied by the Prime Minister of Hugs......The words Deer, Stag, Buck, Doe, Hind, Fawn, and Rut etc will be censored and removed from usage......Disney studios will be forced to remove the movie 'Bambi' and Bambi Books from circulation and the movie 'The Deer Hunter' will be renamed 'Three Guys Go Camping' with all scenes containing firearms and deer being censored out of it.......and so on......

You heard it first here........