You are not an idiot, you actually did really well.
For reasons 1 and 7, health and safety and employment first aid training may be next to useless, bordering on counter productive, for outdoor first aid.
I have done three really serious after incident investigations for outdoor injuries for businesses. All these businesses had done their OHS and had protocols in place and were compliant. None of it actually worked. People did a bunch of completely random and bizarre shit which made absolutely no sense. Some of them were extremely experienced outdoorsman. No one went to jail for this because I was able to demonstrate they had an acute stress reaction (the psychological version shock).
When something happens to you outdoors, there are vastly more unconstrained variables (which run through your head at high speed) and the level of responsibility feels much higher. It is far from unusual for people to crack up.
The only way to prevent this is drill. You need to, as you put it, role play. It has to be a subconscious or shit can get very weird.
So you did good. Welcome to the "whoops I stabbed myself" club. Everyone is an idiot sometimes.
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