Thread: A mixed day out, shades of Mr Bean.

Was in Fairlie for the long weekend and hadn't been even for a proper walk for a few weeks so was getting a bit desperate to escape into the hills somewhere, work to be done around house Saturday, so Sunday was it, weather co-operating or not! Set the alarm for 0500 and off to bed. Get woken up by the wife with a brew for me at 0700 wondering why I was still home?, had set alarm for 5pm....... cock up 1.

An hr later was at the road end cursing the fact it was now broad daylight and it was a good 2-1/2 hrs to my intended spot. An hr and a half later was cursing the fact that crossing a tussock swamp was not the time to remember your boots are fucked and leak like a sieve. Cock up 2

Then comes an hr of humping it up a steep tussock face minus my instep crampons because I had switched packs and left them behind....cock up 3

Reached the spot I wanted to mooch about and got a brew and a feed on and before my tea has boiled, bingo! 5 deer well below me, tucked up on a nice sheltered toe on the opposite slope in a big gut 480yds away. Didn't look like they were going anywhere anytime soon so had my brew and feed, watched for a bit and got moving slow and carefull to get a bit closer, completely ran out of cover 260yds out, dumped the pack and got a brew on, then lined up the biggest hind ( she gave me the best shot angle), then had the bright idea to see how close I could get before being busted, figured I had them covered for a running shot if I had to. So thats me making like a snake, map of the earth head first down through the tussock and friendly spainiard, in plain sight of my little mob of deer. Was really steep so was able to let gravity do most of the work, took about an hr to cover a hundred yds, waiting for them to bolt the whole time, a tiny updraft not letting them scent me and my mode of travel had them confused as to what I was, eventually it got too steep to continue, was barely able to get the rifle up for a sight picture as they were nearly opposite me now, range was now down to 110 yds. Time to close the deal, the strain of being headfirst downhill and keeping the rifle up for the shot meant the first shot was fatal, but too far back, roll around into a sit and give her a second that got lights out, they all milled about for a few seconds, even without a suppressor on, they were confused as to where the danger lay, so I added the smallest hind to the bag. Wasn't thinking about the carry out.... cock up 4.

Both deer dead on the gound within 3 metres of each other, watched for a minute just to be sure, then went to retrieve my pack from up the hill, couldn't bloody find it! it had fallen over and was tucked up nicely to a spainiard, took me an hr to find it..... cock up 5.

Down to my deer, brew on and knife out and break them down, elected to bone out to reduce the load, thank fuck my main pack is an old K2 I've had for about 30yrs now, steel frame and a hook and stock flap for the rifle.

Couple of hrs later had managed to get up across the hill and down to the floor again and in the last of the light saw a fire on at a nearby hut (about a klick and a half away) and decided that would be a great place to get the load off, have a meal and a brew and some recovery for the leg out ( and I didn't like the idea of the tussock swamp now that I was stupid heavy!) Took a compass bearing on the hut before the light was gone and staggered up and down across the valley, bout an hr later thumped onto the veranda and dumped the pack, sounded like someone just dropped a front end loader on the deck, and the two young fellas inside were out the door to see wtf! it was. Had one of them Backcountry things for tea, something called a cooked breakfast fuck it was awfull, I reckon my dog wouldn't eat it!, cock up 6

Had a chat with the two young fellas, both 16 and their dad had dropped them at the road end a couple of days earlier, and they had a spiker for their efforts I thought it was great, no playstation in sight, beginners giving it a bash and loving it Time to leave, the two young fellas were a bit dubious about the merits of wandering about in the dark ( I had crossed the valley in the dark no headlight ), Got them to give me a hand to load up, sat into my pack and got number one to block my feet and give me a tow to get up, got halfway and number two had to get in behind and push to get me vertical , (thanks fellas!) and off into the night I go.

About half way to the truck, headlight starts to fade, spare batteries in the pack that I don't want to put down in case I cant get up again.......cock up 7. Eventually the inevitable happened and a nearby bank was helpfull. Swapping batteries in the dark cause my backup torch is in my day bag...... cock up 8.

Get to the truck about 10.30pm, pop the rifle off the pack and park it on the front wheel, back the pack into the truck, yayyyyy! floated about for a minute and then headed for home. Pack into garage, trying to peel the dogs off me, then inside to get a brew. Then in a moment of horrified insight cock up 9 rears it's ugly head.

I was so fucked when I got to the truck, I forgot to put the rifle in it........ just drove away.

Wife chucks a brew in a thermos cup, gives me a couple of chocolate bars, the more annoying dog and reminds me not to go fast, no one else is gonna be there that time of night, like I listened anyway. Found it right where it had rolled off the wheel as I drove off. Undamaged.

Could have spent the day in my slippers and dressing gown watching tv, much less embuggerence allround. Yeah, nahhh do it again tomorrow

Awesome tale, think we all have days like that (know I sure make a few cock-ups and wonder why I got out of bed)

Great show of determination and grit!

Mate what a circus. That is why we do it I reckon. Well done.

Atleast you managed to find everything. Deer to shoot, lost bag and rifle. Entertaining read. Cheers

Man I have a boring life

Fuck me, that was entertaining, theres hope for me yet.....bwaharrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr...........one of the best yarns this year....who will top that?

That was a top story well written and entertaining. Nice that everything came together despite the number of cock ups.

I enjoyed that 257.Great day out then.

Good to hear about some young fallas out and about.....and they didn't mug ya

I'm just glad to see the rifle made it out ok.
Good shit.

faaar out that was a funny and enjoyable read,good to hear Im not the only one who swaers by a K2 pack..... the cooked breakfast is my favourite of the dehy range....you got to give it plenty of liquid and a bit of time to get the best from it.... cringed when you said rifle was lent against tyre and knew what was coming next...... you did well to click to cockup and find it undamaged.enjoy the vennison and process it quick before you add another cockup to the list.

Originally Posted by Micky Duck

faaar out that was a funny and enjoyable read,good to hear Im not the only one who swaers by a K2 pack..... the cooked breakfast is my favourite of the dehy range....you got to give it plenty of liquid and a bit of time to get the best from it.... cringed when you said rifle was lent against tyre and knew what was coming next...... you did well to click to cockup and find it undamaged.enjoy the vennison and process it quick before you add another cockup to the list.

Had Twinneedle modify my K2, removed the side pockets and replaced them with big pockets that can carry sleeping bag, bedroll and tent without using the main pack or the zip off bag.
You would laugh at the tape and cable ties holding mine together, but it just keeps doing the job. Can carry anything! I really like the Sweet and Sour Lamb dehy, maybe I just had a dud one.

Well done Mr Bean, good to see you survived all the cock ups. That venison must taste damn fine

funny thing those side pockets...I can fit pair of polar fleece trou and 2 pair of socks in each...great for water bottle too as it stays upright.
the frame is the bit that works best...sometimes the old ways are best.LOL.