Thread: Ditti's

Cleaning out some stuff the other day and found a caption I wrote down after my poppas 80th birthday over 20 years ago...after all the formalities where over and it was only the "adults" and us teenage grand kids......with a nice single malt in his hand he banged out this stunner......hes passed away but this still cracks me up.....

From poppa Bob......

"Under a wallowing Blue Gum.....the Australian bush man sat..............

.................amusing himself by Abusing himself ...by making a C%&T of his Hat................................!!!!


....and yours...........?

A farmer I worked for 45 years ago taught me this, and I have no idea why I remember it..."said the good bad girl to the bad good girl, gee it's hard to be good, said the bad good girl to the good bad girl, it's got to be hard to be any good"

crack up.................the only other one I remember is from the side of a Dunny at 6 cross camp

"those who write on wooden walls ...
...should roll there shit in little balls....
'those who read these words of wit......
...should eat those little balls of shit.............

..........

One I remember from my apprenticeship days on the bog wall was
Be a man not a fool, pull the chain and not your tool!

Advice from my big brother when I was 17.
"Dont make love by the garden gate. Love is blind....but the neighbours aint"

I was taking a young girl out many years ago, and her old man out of the blue told me
" you don't look at the mantle piece when you stoking the fire"
Think he just wanted to see what colour my face went!

Dad just reminded me of one from the freezing works

....There was a lady from kinleath.......
......who would pull back foreskins with her teeth.....

......she did not for pleasure or pride...............
...............But to get to the cheese underneath...!!!!!!!

There was a young girl from Maine
Who claimed she had a man on the brain
You could tell from the view, of the way her waist grew
It was not on her brain he had lain

Mary had a little hen,
She kept it in a bucket,
Every time she let it out
The rooster used to ............. (Chase it around the yard and peck its neck). Ha ha ha ha you all thought I was going to say fuck it. Ha ha ha ha

Little miss muffet sat on her tuffit her knickers all tattered and torn.
But it wasn't a spider that sat down beside her it was little boy blue with his horn.

From my old schoolmate Rudi...

There was a young girl from Azores
Whose box was covered in sores
Not even the dogs in the street
Would eat the green meat
That hung in festoons from her drawers....


And this one from the 5 Squadron hanger bog in 1981...

The was a young man from Nantucket
Whose cock was so long he could suck it
He sad with a grin
While wiping his chin
If my ear was a c?nt
I could f?ck it...

found this written on my school desk when i was around 12... good advice.

Be a man not a flower, have a f#$k and feel the power!