Howdy Mrs @40mm one thing to consider is the weight of the bike and the weight of the rider. A small rider on a large heavy bike will struggle to control or pick it up if it is too heavy, but likewise a larger rider on a small bike will struggle with other issues such as comfort, getting moving and sinking.
XR are a good bike, though my preference would be towards the XL rather than XR. More "agricultural" in design.
You can go slow on a bigger bike but a smaller bike may run out of puff when you need it. Either way, make sure that you "fit" the bike. Yamaha AG 200 were good too.
For sand the UBCO may be well worth a peek with its wide tyres, but they are not cheap bikes. https://www.ubcobikes.com/products/
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