You will also need to consider whether you want to wear it under a waterproof shell or wear it as a one purpose fits all jacket. If you want to wear it under your outer waterproof layer at times, you will need one that is fitted to be used as such - like narrower arms, and a different zip/collar configuration. There is always a trade off when you have a long list of requirements ie lightweight doesnt always give a high warmth rating. Durability doesnt always go well with lightweight. And as per usual, buy once, cry once.
I would be having a good serious talk with the guys at Wear on Earth, they know their stuff and can make a jacket to your exact requirements. And they're bloody durable!
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