Thread: My daughters school morning talks

Just found out my 5 yr old little daughters morning talk was all about my dogs catching a duck in the river and daddy cutting its head off. Nice work I'm expecting a visit From SPCA anyday now. Because we live in a city it's not normal or pc correct to kill anamils , what my daughter (holly) didn't mention on her talk was we were in the country and the duck was found wondered (broken wing) in a back water. I didn't cut the head off but discretly broke it's neck as it was in poor health too, could have been there for days.
I wonder some times when at school picking holly up what else she has said , you can only laugh and think it's my child that's getting the well roundered upbringing .

Hahaha yes I can just imagine what teachers hear at school (especially from the under 8's ) Shit they must have a good laugh in the smoko room

The school should video these sessions and invite the parents after for a beer and a few laughs.

Nephew had the same thing at his school when talking religion and one of his mates said Jedi as his dad had told him if ever asked.

Having all girls I was not going to have them grow up squeeling over mice and what not, so they have been reasonably well grounded as far as natures creatures go.
Had a report from daycare the other day, the two youngest (2yrs old) had found a large cockroach and were playing with it and trying to feed it lunch

Heard a teacher say once....

"we won't believe everything we hear at morning talk, just as long as you don't believe everything you hear coming home from school."

The education sector does get a bit PC, I got students to pluck some ducks for me today, not all of them were so keen on gutting them...

Heres one my 8yr old son wrote for a speech last night

Originally Posted by Dundee

Heres one my 8yr old son wrote for a speech last night

Niggerteen ?I shouldn't be wetting myself but f@$k it that's gold

Originally Posted by Dundee

Heres one my 8yr old son wrote for a speech last night

Com'on Dundee own up, you wrote that did'nt ya blahahahaha

Originally Posted by horihunter

The education sector does get a bit PC, I got students to pluck some ducks for me today, not all of them were so keen on gutting them...

Did you get out on Tuesday ? I was gutted , was scoping jobs all day , heard the lake went off .

Fuck Dundee, thats the hardest I have laughed since I saw that guy on target!

I have another one. The boy has a bullet (empty cases) collection much like his old man had back in the day. He likes the shinny brass and it appeals to his hording instincts. The prime item in the collection is a couple of 25mm cannon cases that my mate in the army gave him.

Anyhow hes off to school one day and mum says "why are your pockets clanking?". A short discussion reveals a dozen empty cases intended for the morning talk. Spotting a potential issue in this pc day and age mum makes him give them to the teacher, show them at morning talk and then back to the teachers desk for the rest of the day.

The young teacher lass had some wide eyes when the cases where handed over. I am not sure if she was clued up enough to realize that I didn't actually have a APC with 25mm cannon back at home but the school reports have been good so far anyhow.

I was relating this tale to the wife of one of my dad's hunting buddies. She said thats nothing. My boy took his Dad's pistol to school one day. What happened I said. Nothing, the school rang home and asked hubby to pick his pistol up. Times have changed since then I suspect.

My wife was teaching at a school when one of the kids gave a morning talk about "hunting sheep" on the weekend, turns out Dad was doing a bit of sheep rustling off the local farms!

My mates kids whent to a small country school , unknown to the parents the kids had been taking there pet possum to school . Was all good until the school headmaster rung them to collect the possum as it had bitten another child .

Apparently a genuine story...

Health nurse had been in at primary school giving a talk and during that it was good to leave the window of the bedroom open for fresh air at night...

Little girl did morning talk the following week

Last night I slept with the window open. I can't usually cause aunty sleeps in my room and she doesn't like it. My mums had a baby so she's in hospital and last night aunty slept with daddy so I could...