Thread: those poor poms

the British Birds 1st XV - A Proper Rugby Team

14 October 2015 by GunsOnPegs, 2 comments

After having to endure some very poor performances from England this Rugby World Cup, we remain hopefully that the rest of the Home Nations will carry the Northern Hemisphere forward but it got us thinking, who could do a better job?

Whilst discussing the merits of a Peregrine Falcon at Full-Back during lunch one afternoon, we decided to build a team of birds that would knock any Southern Hemisphere bully off their perch.

We therefore present to you, the GunsOnPegs British Birds 1st XV Rugby Team.




1. Canada Goose

Prop

Eats more than any other team member. Fat and takes a while to get going but when speed builds up, quite hard to pull down.


2. Wild Turkey

Hooker

5 necks, had to be picked for this reason alone. Loves a Christmas dinner, parents were born here enabling his selection. Gained citizenship back in 2005.


3. Capercalli

Prop

Specialist scrummager, good channelled aggression.


4. Heron

Second Row

Hasn't lost a lineout for 5 seasons.


5. Cormorant

Second Row

Great in wet conditions and a master at reading the game.


6. Black Back Gull

Blind-side Flanker

The first to any breakdown. Will scavenge for the ball like it's his last meal.


7. Magpie

Open-side Flanker

Alongside the gull, you'll be counting your fingers after the ruck.


8. Golden Eagle

No.8

The pack leader and go to ball carrier. The master of the number 8 pick-up.




9. Woodcock

Scrum-half

Can pick the ball out of any ruck, will jink through the line whenever you like with never ending stamina.


10. Goshawk

Fly-half

Most importantly, he looks good (lovely legs). Pulls the strings and walks the walk.


11. Red Grouse

Wing

Who else could you pick at 11? Can hit any line with serious speed.


12. Mallard

Inside Centre

You can always rely on a mallard to come in. It also takes a lot to bring a mallard down, not to be underestimated.


13. English Partridge

Outside Centre

He knows he's not the biggest, but he has been in the team longer than O'Driscoll and the players and fans look up to him.


14. Golden Plover

Wing

Always performed at club level, although many question his selection. His speed and try scoring record from the bench earns him his place.


15. Peregrine

Full-back

The rock at the back. Everything Jason Robinson was and much more. The fastest full-back in the world at 240mph, you won't get away from this guy.

Replacements

Backs: Kingfisher, Snipe, Wigeon, Pheasant.

Forwards: Eagle Owl, Hen-Harrier, Guinea Fowl, Swan.

Coaches: Cockerel (retired from the french league - talks a good game), Raven (fantastic CV that the team look up to).


Special mention - Pheasant

Captain of the 2nd's, not particularly clever but tries hard and his Dad sponsors the kit.

This team oozes class and in our eyes would be the "Dream Team" for the 2015 Rugby World Cup.

i feel for them desperation and dissapointment is a terrible thing

southern hemisphere response 12 guage- packs the punch and speed to knock any of that lot into the next millenium! also does not recoil from any off the ball shagnasties!

aint those frogs some cunning sods dumping their coach?
if they lose it wont be cos we beat them if they win it,l be in the face of this and all the adversity since moses played halfback for the isralaetites.

frogs psyche war 1

all blacks 0
then they cheeky bastards will have the affront to play out of thier skin just to get more sympathy if they lose

take that frenchy la pew
sorry taffs as bad as the yarpies played they were good enough.
but good enough for the all blacks not on that display.

I heard this from a Scottish mate:

What is the difference between a tea bag and the England Rugby team ?

A tea bag stays in the cup longer !

Originally Posted by KiwiinSeattle

I heard this from a Scottish mate:

What is the difference between a tea bag and the England Rugby team ?

A tea bag stays in the cup longer !

A Scottish tea bag needs to stay in the cup longer because it's on at least its 4th use.
(Says he who has Scottish ancestors)

Teacher at an English school last week asked the class what their fathers did for a living! As she worked thru the class she came to Tommy. "Tommy so what does your dad do," tommy shuffled his feet and replied nervously" miss he is a stripper at a nightclub and then he sells his body for sex to whoever will have him! " blushing and flustered the teacher asked the rest of the class to leave the room and quietly wrapped her arm around Tommy and said it was sad his dad did that for a living and how embarrassing for him to have to admit it to his friends and the class, tommy confided to the teacher " miss that's not what he really does, he plays for the English team and I'm to far to fucking embarssed to tell anyone that!"

damn this morning was some fine arse rugby well done the argies havent watched the auz/scots game yet but am lookin forward to it.