Thread: Wanted! A duck.

Tryed this a couple of times already but will give it another go.

I would really like to try cooking a mallard preferably not shot off of the shit ponds.

Does anybody in Nelson area shoot ducks?

Obviously I cant buy it but can sort a trade in fish or venison.

Originally Posted by veitnamcam

Tryed this a couple of times already but will give it another go.

I would really like to try cooking a mallard preferably not shot off of the shit ponds.

Does anybody in Nelson area shoot ducks?

Obviously I cant buy it but can sort a trade in fish or venison.

if you're ever in ChCh hit me up I can hook you up and give you some advice on how to cook them

Go to your local park in the evening sit on a bench seat and feed the ducks. Take bread, a short piece of mono with duck sized hook, a Penthouse mag or similar and wear a long perverty coat with hood.
Just before dark with a circle of ducks around you and no one in sight, toss the bread baited hook in front of a fat greenhead, pull him in, wring neck, put in pocket inside coat. If some nosey bugger comes along and the drake flaps under your coat just pretend that you are pulling yourself looking at the Penthouse. In all likely hood you will be avoided by a wide margin anyway.
My Grandfather did this after WW2 when it was hard to get meat. Had a coat with 12 special duck pockets sewn inside

Originally Posted by Moa Hunter

Go to your local park in the evening sit on a bench seat and feed the ducks. Take bread, a short piece of mono with duck sized hook, a Penthouse mag or similar and wear a long perverty coat with hood.
Just before dark with a circle of ducks around you and no one in sight, toss the bread baited hook in front of a fat greenhead, pull him in, wring neck, put in pocket inside coat. If some nosey bugger comes along and the drake flaps under your coat just pretend that you are pulling yourself looking at the Penthouse. In all likely hood you will be avoided by a wide margin anyway.
My Grandfather did this after WW2 when it was hard to get meat. Had a coat with 12 special duck pockets sewn inside

That had me cracking up.Quite inventive but I am not game to try it...especially as our local gardens has in the past had at least one guy caught and convicted of catching and rapeing the ducks

Originally Posted by Moa Hunter

Go to your local park in the evening sit on a bench seat and feed the ducks. Take bread, a short piece of mono with duck sized hook, a Penthouse mag or similar and wear a long perverty coat with hood.
Just before dark with a circle of ducks around you and no one in sight, toss the bread baited hook in front of a fat greenhead, pull him in, wring neck, put in pocket inside coat. If some nosey bugger comes along and the drake flaps under your coat just pretend that you are pulling yourself looking at the Penthouse. In all likely hood you will be avoided by a wide margin anyway.
My Grandfather did this after WW2 when it was hard to get meat. Had a coat with 12 special duck pockets sewn inside

That's just all kinds of wrong. Did make me laugh though.

all this time I've been using a shotgun and wasting so much money on ammo

Originally Posted by dannyb

all this time I've been using a shotgun and wasting so much money on ammo

And ive been saying well fuck a duck for years and wonder why people look sideways as they rapidly shuffle away. duck shooting =a 12g blowjob!

Have a question? What did penthouses mags look like after WW2?
This?

Originally Posted by Sideshow

Have a question? What did penthouses mags look like after WW2?
This?
Attachment 112447

Well no wonder my Grandfather stayed focused on catching the ducks !!

Originally Posted by veitnamcam

That had me cracking up.Quite inventive but I am not game to try it...especially as our local gardens has in the past had at least one guy caught and convicted of catching and rapeing the ducks

Was it Fish and Game that brought the charges ? I haven't seen that in the regs. Perhaps he was raping them during the hours of darkness ?
Although if I were a duck and forced to choose my fate, I would rather be raped than shot

Someone puhleeease give this man a duck.

Originally Posted by Sideshow

Have a question? What did penthouses mags look like after WW2?
This?
Attachment 112447

what iin gods name is the labour front bench swimsuit parade doing contaminating the holy of holies -a thread dedicated to the noble art of mallard shagging!(OK THE PUN IS UNINTENTIONAL) but really would you eat a bloody politician??????

Originally Posted by kotuku

would you eat a bloody politician??????

It is not possible for me to answer that question on a public forum and keep the answer seemly.....

Originally Posted by kotuku

what iin gods name is the labour front bench swimsuit parade doing contaminating the holy of holies -a thread dedicated to the noble art of mallard shagging!(OK THE PUN IS UNINTENTIONAL) but really would you eat a bloody politician??????

Very clever Kotuku !! esp with the accusations that Trevor has been making

Originally Posted by kotuku

what iin gods name is the labour front bench swimsuit parade doing contaminating the holy of holies -a thread dedicated to the noble art of mallard shagging!(OK THE PUN IS UNINTENTIONAL) but really would you eat a bloody politician??????

Rushy hate plucking his teeth!