Thread: Cooking: the unsatisfactory, the dangerous, the unusual, the weird ass.

I was cooking a giant scone in my George Foreman grill this morning when it occurred to me that cooking has the potential to be a disaster zone for all kinds of reasons, some funny, some entertaining, some ....dangerous.

I thought it might be fun to start a thread with some stories of things that did not go well for some reason or other.

The only thing that i have done that is truly noteworthy, is to try to cook a possum.

Back when I was picking apples in 1989, I shot a possum one night, skinned and gutted it, the next day I boiled it with the intention of slicing it into little fillets and frying it.

The smell of boiling terrified me so much that I chickened out after about half an hour, took the pot outside, and hurled it as far into the back garden as I could, where I assume rats scurried past it till it rotted away.

I lost all my culinary curiosity and bravery that day, and have seldom attempted much beyond the occasional pie and tray of lasagne.

My favourite story quoted from memory from the book "The last days of Colditz"( a WW2 German POW camp housing the most persistent allied escapers: )

"Royal Marines Lieutenant Derby Curtis was stirring an omelette, when for some reason, it caught fire.
He took it off the stove, put it on the ground, stamped out the flames in the pan, wiped his boots on the edge of the pan, then put it back on the stove and carried on cooking."