umm-from the days of the krays etc -spraybottle fullof domestic cleaning ammonia ,a ladies rattail comb rolled up copy of the press ,even a wad of dunny paper freshly smeared with you know what -where the hell have you been all your life massive-do i have to teach you buggers all the naughty tricks.
best one Ive ever read was in the UK,where a coupla wannabe thugs confronted an old duck who;d just bought her Xmas leg'o ham
.she apparently swung it like Baz McCullum swung a cricket bat -the rozzers arrived only to have to phone an ambulance to cart two KO'd males to A&E as both were out for the count
.imagine tellin ya mates ya tried to rob an old sheila and she decked ya-sheeeesh thered be a few beers in that eh.
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