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ok, so in the "real" dog world, if a dog does not accept the leader or does not show the required level of respect, are you saying the "alpha" dog for want of a better term just looks at the guilty party ? to me it seems like there is more of a threat of implied or actual violence.
i have spent a bit of time watching lots of different "pack" animals (baboons, wild dogs, lions etc). usually any sign of disrespect or stepping out of line is dealt with pretty harshly, yes ?
guess it all boils down to establishing who is top dog, in a pack a lot of that is learned behavior, but raising a single dog in a suburban setting where they are not getting that constant feedback from other dogs makes it a different kettle of fish...
If the dog does not accept you as the leader it is not the dog you need to work with. You need to learn YOUR job better.
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