Thread: Poor pig islanders

I feel sorry for you lot, HOWEVER that doesn't mean you can pack up and come down.

Had to go to jafaland Saturday night for a concert, at least that was great. Drove into town at 18:00 was outta there by 00:00....was meant to stay the night and see a few people Sunday, decided that a much wiser move was to get the hell out fast before I had to kill someone, possibly several people. Then there would be all that please explain, and court n shit.

You lot get fucked over buying coffee. Badly. Tastes like shit generally and is expensive, out of 10 coffees bought three were ok. You pig islanders can even fuck up a black coffee with no sugar.
Petrol. tisk tisk.
Driving. Do you lot, or is it compulsory thing to go to the fuckwit driving school? LOOKING LONG AND HARD AT JAFAS.
Service...I thought the south had gotten bad, how wrong was I...

Never fucking ever bitch about the amount of trucks on the roads in the north. EEEVVVEERR. 38 trucks between jafaville and Wellington, including a couple of buses. A shorter distance by well over 100km in the south, 155 trucks, same highway and didn't include trucks on road words down here.
And the flash roads you've got.....

But the kicker.......the fucking TERRIBLE tourist drivers we get down here, and they are bad, make a lot of jafa drivers look even worse. Or put it the other way jafas make the worst tourist drivers look good.

Us southerners are starting to pool resources to see if we can ban jafas from all inbound ferries and planes.
PS: Rabbit problem in Taihape....10 in a 10 metre radius is a problem
ALMOST stopped the ute coming back off the ferry to kiss the southern dirt....

We are picking up a camper in Nelson next year for a tiki tour. Will drive slowly the whole way so we can look out for you
Definitely won't be stopping in Lumsden. Think JAFA coffee tastes shit

Wirehunt I feel you have more to say on the subject. Let it out........ it will help you accept the world for what it is. That'll be $350.00 for the consults thanks.

Wirehunt, why did you need petrol in a never ending traffic jam? You turn the engine off while waiting!

I think as a rabbiter you are uniquely equipped to 'make auckland great again'.

Firstly, containment. You could use packs of your dogs to patrol the border, not only keeping the infestation in one place, but instantly alleviating the rest of the countries traffic problem.

Secondly, eradication. Pindone in all of Aucklands coffee sacks, creating laced lattes across the city. After you have lowered the numbers this way, follow up with your ferrets, sending them into Aucklanders' burrows at night to eat their babies while you shoot the rest as they flee. (Is Sandra Kyle an Aucklander? )

Finally, monitoring. Foot patrolling the smoking ruins of auckland and keep an eye out for any signs of reinfestation. High house prices, bad driving, expensive coffee etc.

We're counting on you Wirehunt...

Originally Posted by 7mmwsm

That's life in the fast lane Wirehunt.
What concert did you go to?

Probably Adele

He whinges like Adele

I think you're confused. The roads and traffic manners are superior in the north island
(Don't let them know about our hidden treasures and wide open spaces away from it all, nor all the great bakery's or pieshops)

Originally Posted by 7mmwsm

That's life in the fast lane Wirehunt.
What concert did you go to?

Amee Schumer

Being half Mainlander, I cannot possibly comment ...

Originally Posted by sako75

We are picking up a camper in Nelson next year for a tiki tour. Will drive slowly the whole way so we can look out for you
Definitely won't be stopping in Lumsden. Think JAFA coffee tastes shit

Best doughnut I ever had was in Lumsden and I am not a fan of sweet things.
Thought the coffee was ok to be fair.

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Mate - buy your own expresso machine, take a 'barista lesson' from a bean supplier (they'll sell you theirs after), and show us all how it's done.
Best thing I ever did - now even the better barista's efforts anywhere taste like boiled coffee grounds.
But their efforts are still way better than the way 'septic tanks' (Aussie slang) boil the crap out of filtered drip coffee.
Haven't 'graduated' to black coffee yet - but something I might think about when flat whites get 'passé'.

Originally Posted by Pointer

He whinges like Adele

Case in point. Who mentions afuckingdele? Women and pig islanders! Proof? Every women on the dating sites and pointer....ergo....

If Greenday heard mention that some guy from jafa territory compared them to adele...

Originally Posted by WallyR

Mate - buy your own expresso machine, take a 'barista lesson' from a bean supplier (they'll sell you theirs after), and show us all how it's done.
Best thing I ever did - now even the better barista's efforts anywhere taste like boiled coffee grounds.
But their efforts are still way better than the way 'septic tanks' (Aussie slang) boil the crap out of filtered drip coffee.
Haven't 'graduated' to black coffee yet - but something I might think about when flat whites get 'passé'.

A good friend wins awards in shit for her coffee roasting Doubt very much if the jafas know how to fill the entry forms.

Arrowtown of all places, very good HOT coffee $2.50, $3.50 average. Hell some places free. Pig island, bad luke warm coffee $5 and SLOW!

I didn't mention Adele first Wirehunt

And like EBs, I'm half mainlander too. I just don't usually admit that