Poor pig islanders

I feel sorry for you lot, HOWEVER that doesn't mean you can pack up and come down.

Had to go to jafaland Saturday night for a concert, at least that was great. Drove into town at 18:00 was outta there by 00:00....was meant to stay the night and see a few people Sunday, decided that a much wiser move was to get the hell out fast before I had to kill someone, possibly several people. Then there would be all that please explain, and court n shit.

You lot get fucked over buying coffee. Badly. Tastes like shit generally and is expensive, out of 10 coffees bought three were ok. You pig islanders can even fuck up a black coffee with no sugar. :omg::omg::omg::omg::omg::omg:
Petrol. tisk tisk.
Driving. Do you lot, or is it compulsory thing to go to the fuckwit driving school? LOOKING LONG AND HARD AT JAFAS.
Service...I thought the south had gotten bad, how wrong was I...

Never fucking ever bitch about the amount of trucks on the roads in the north. EEEVVVEERR. 38 trucks between jafaville and Wellington, including a couple of buses. A shorter distance by well over 100km in the south, 155 trucks, same highway and didn't include trucks on road words down here.
And the flash roads you've got.....

But the kicker.......the fucking TERRIBLE tourist drivers we get down here, and they are bad, make a lot of jafa drivers look even worse. Or put it the other way jafas make the worst tourist drivers look good.

Us southerners are starting to pool resources to see if we can ban jafas from all inbound ferries and planes.
PS: Rabbit problem in Taihape....10 in a 10 metre radius is a problem :D:D
ALMOST stopped the ute coming back off the ferry to kiss the southern dirt....

:D:D:D
We are picking up a camper in Nelson next year for a tiki tour. Will drive slowly the whole way so we can look out for you
Definitely won't be stopping in Lumsden. Think JAFA coffee tastes shit

Wirehunt I feel you have more to say on the subject. Let it out........ it will help you accept the world for what it is. That'll be $350.00 for the consults thanks.

Wirehunt, why did you need petrol in a never ending traffic jam? You turn the engine off while waiting!

I think as a rabbiter you are uniquely equipped to 'make auckland great again'.

Firstly, containment. You could use packs of your dogs to patrol the border, not only keeping the infestation in one place, but instantly alleviating the rest of the countries traffic problem.

Secondly, eradication. Pindone in all of Aucklands coffee sacks, creating laced lattes across the city. After you have lowered the numbers this way, follow up with your ferrets, sending them into Aucklanders' burrows at night to eat their babies while you shoot the rest as they flee. (Is Sandra Kyle an Aucklander? )

Finally, monitoring. Foot patrolling the smoking ruins of auckland and keep an eye out for any signs of reinfestation. High house prices, bad driving, expensive coffee etc.

We're counting on you Wirehunt...

Quote:

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Originally Posted by 7mmwsm

That's life in the fast lane Wirehunt.
What concert did you go to?

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Probably Adele :D

He whinges like Adele :D

I think you're confused. The roads and traffic manners are superior in the north island;)
(Don't let them know about our hidden treasures and wide open spaces away from it all, nor all the great bakery's or pieshops)

Quote:

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Originally Posted by 7mmwsm

That's life in the fast lane Wirehunt.
What concert did you go to?

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Amee Schumer :O_O::)

Being half Mainlander, I cannot possibly comment ... :D

Quote:

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Originally Posted by sako75

:D:D:D
We are picking up a camper in Nelson next year for a tiki tour. Will drive slowly the whole way so we can look out for you
Definitely won't be stopping in Lumsden. Think JAFA coffee tastes shit

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Best doughnut I ever had was in Lumsden and I am not a fan of sweet things.
Thought the coffee was ok to be fair.

Sent from my SM-G935F using Tapatalk

Mate - buy your own expresso machine, take a 'barista lesson' from a bean supplier (they'll sell you theirs after), and show us all how it's done.
Best thing I ever did - now even the better barista's efforts anywhere taste like boiled coffee grounds.
But their efforts are still way better than the way 'septic tanks' (Aussie slang) boil the crap out of filtered drip coffee.
Haven't 'graduated' to black coffee yet - but something I might think about when flat whites get 'passé'.:yaeh am not durnk:

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Pointer

He whinges like Adele :D

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Case in point. Who mentions afuckingdele? Women and pig islanders! Proof? Every women on the dating sites and pointer....ergo....

If Greenday heard mention that some guy from jafa territory compared them to adele...

Quote:

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Originally Posted by WallyR

Mate - buy your own expresso machine, take a 'barista lesson' from a bean supplier (they'll sell you theirs after), and show us all how it's done.
Best thing I ever did - now even the better barista's efforts anywhere taste like boiled coffee grounds.
But their efforts are still way better than the way 'septic tanks' (Aussie slang) boil the crap out of filtered drip coffee.
Haven't 'graduated' to black coffee yet - but something I might think about when flat whites get 'passé'.:yaeh am not durnk:

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A good friend wins awards in shit for her coffee roasting :D Doubt very much if the jafas know how to fill the entry forms.

Arrowtown of all places, very good HOT coffee $2.50, $3.50 average. Hell some places free. Pig island, bad luke warm coffee $5 and SLOW!

I didn't mention Adele first Wirehunt :)

And like EBs, I'm half mainlander too. I just don't usually admit that :D

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Wirehunt

A good friend wins awards in shit for her coffee roasting :D Doubt very much if the jafas know how to fill the entry forms.

Arrowtown of all places, very good HOT coffee $2.50, $3.50 average. Hell some places free. Pig island, bad luke warm coffee $5 and SLOW!

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Bummer no bands play concerts in banjo land. We could come down and hang with the yokels.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Wirehunt

A good friend wins awards in shit for her coffee roasting :D Doubt very much if the jafas know how to fill the entry forms.

Arrowtown of all places, very good HOT coffee $2.50, $3.50 average. Hell some places free. Pig island, bad luke warm coffee $5 and SLOW!

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a] drink fuckin tea like a real man
b]being a transplant I don't get how many of you hillbillies kill each other on straight pieces of road.??
fuck what your problem with corners???
ive been behind some of you male/female and its like you have menstrual fits when you see anything more than a gentle curve.
c] jaffas area exception to every rule cos theyre fuckin JAFFAS.
its all that muggy wheather and being isolated in their own little enclaves.
howick ellerslie east poncevill .

Quote:

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Bummer no bands play concerts in banjo land. We could come down and hang with the yokels.

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haha midnight oils coming to Christchurch aint they??
finally some shit that,l make sence.
''hello from the otherside''
otherside of fuckin what cook straight??
''all of me loves all of you''
john you no taller than a snake sitting on its tail and your misses is a big arse Asian chick that probablty beats your arse up every night.
I bet you scream you love her as she,s kung fu,in your short arse.
''how can we sleep when our beds are burning''
no ambiguity or false narrative there cos that's fuckin music.
the hardest part will be getting to and from the concert without getting killed by one of my corner hating straight road panicking villagers or getting stabbed and or robbed in chch.

Im with Wirehunt on this one,any city is a shithole and the bigger the city the bigger shithole it is.
I actually live in the city in the region I have lived all my life, I know the names of one st and the location of about 4 shops I may have to visit from time to time,I actively avoid going into the city at all ever if I can get away with it...good thing I got married ;)
I had to go recently to renew my firearms licence and couldn't remember where the police station was and had to google it on my phone.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Pointer

I think as a rabbiter you are uniquely equipped to 'make auckland great again'.

Firstly, containment. You could use packs of your dogs to patrol the border, not only keeping the infestation in one place, but instantly alleviating the rest of the countries traffic problem.

Secondly, eradication. Pindone in all of Aucklands coffee sacks, creating laced lattes across the city. After you have lowered the numbers this way, follow up with your ferrets, sending them into Aucklanders' burrows at night to eat their babies while you shoot the rest as they flee. (Is Sandra Kyle an Aucklander? )

Finally, monitoring. Foot patrolling the smoking ruins of auckland and keep an eye out for any signs of reinfestation. High house prices, bad driving, expensive coffee etc.

We're counting on you Wirehunt...

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best thing I have read in ....................ages and in the same thread as the best rant I have heard in a long time.

from a chap who considers a trip over the "Strait" to be international travel :D

Quote:

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Originally Posted by gsp follower

the hardest part will be getting to and from the concert without getting killed by one of my corner hating straight road panicking villagers or getting stabbed and or robbed in chch.

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I just just read this aloud and you've put the household into fits of laughter GSPF. Has to be quote of the night!

Quote:

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Originally Posted by veitnamcam

Im with Wirehunt on this one,any city is a shithole and the bigger the city the bigger shithole it is.
I actually live in the city in the region I have lived all my life, I know the names of one st and the location of about 4 shops I may have to visit from time to time,I actively avoid going into the city at all ever if I can get away with it...good thing I got married ;)
I had to go recently to renew my firearms licence and couldn't remember where the police station was and had to google it on my phone.

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Yeah she's pretty different up here in South Singapore

Wirecunt :D the angry guy

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Wirehunt

I feel sorry for you lot, HOWEVER that doesn't mean you can pack up and come down.

Had to go to jafaland Saturday night for a concert, at least that was great. Drove into town at 18:00 was outta there by 00:00....was meant to stay the night and see a few people Sunday, decided that a much wiser move was to get the hell out fast before I had to kill someone, possibly several people. Then there would be all that please explain, and court n shit.

You lot get fucked over buying coffee. Badly. Tastes like shit generally and is expensive, out of 10 coffees bought three were ok. You pig islanders can even fuck up a black coffee with no sugar. :omg::omg::omg::omg::omg::omg:
Petrol. tisk tisk.
Driving. Do you lot, or is it compulsory thing to go to the fuckwit driving school? LOOKING LONG AND HARD AT JAFAS.
Service...I thought the south had gotten bad, how wrong was I...

Never fucking ever bitch about the amount of trucks on the roads in the north. EEEVVVEERR. 38 trucks between jafaville and Wellington, including a couple of buses. A shorter distance by well over 100km in the south, 155 trucks, same highway and didn't include trucks on road words down here.
And the flash roads you've got.....

But the kicker.......the fucking TERRIBLE tourist drivers we get down here, and they are bad, make a lot of jafa drivers look even worse. Or put it the other way jafas make the worst tourist drivers look good.

Us southerners are starting to pool resources to see if we can ban jafas from all inbound ferries and planes.
PS: Rabbit problem in Taihape....10 in a 10 metre radius is a problem :D:D
ALMOST stopped the ute coming back off the ferry to kiss the southern dirt....

---

So apart from one or two minor upsets, I'm glad to hear you had a good weekend......

B

And that is why they don't have concerts in the back waters of NZ. The musicians would have to play behind a mesh barrier

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Wirehunt

I feel sorry for you lot, HOWEVER that doesn't mean you can pack up and come down.

Had to go to jafaland Saturday night for a concert, at least that was great. Drove into town at 18:00 was outta there by 00:00....was meant to stay the night and see a few people Sunday, decided that a much wiser move was to get the hell out fast before I had to kill someone, possibly several people. Then there would be all that please explain, and court n shit.

You lot get fucked over buying coffee. Badly. Tastes like shit generally and is expensive, out of 10 coffees bought three were ok. You pig islanders can even fuck up a black coffee with no sugar. :omg::omg::omg::omg::omg::omg:
Petrol. tisk tisk.
Driving. Do you lot, or is it compulsory thing to go to the fuckwit driving school? LOOKING LONG AND HARD AT JAFAS.
Service...I thought the south had gotten bad, how wrong was I...

Never fucking ever bitch about the amount of trucks on the roads in the north. EEEVVVEERR. 38 trucks between jafaville and Wellington, including a couple of buses. A shorter distance by well over 100km in the south, 155 trucks, same highway and didn't include trucks on road words down here.
And the flash roads you've got.....

But the kicker.......the fucking TERRIBLE tourist drivers we get down here, and they are bad, make a lot of jafa drivers look even worse. Or put it the other way jafas make the worst tourist drivers look good.

Us southerners are starting to pool resources to see if we can ban jafas from all inbound ferries and planes.
PS: Rabbit problem in Taihape....10 in a 10 metre radius is a problem :D:D
ALMOST stopped the ute coming back off the ferry to kiss the southern dirt....

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Someone should have taken you down the Family Bar that would have given you something to complain about doubt you would have gotten out of there alive

Leave him alone guys. If a man wants to take his pack of foxy crosses to the Adele concert, he bloody well can!

What do I do with the whippets and pointers?

I hear there is some ginga playing in Dunners in a bit, wonder why not in the island of the pig?

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Wirehunt

What do I do with the whippets and pointers?

I hear there is some ginga playing in Dunners in a bit, wonder why not in the island of the pig?

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Too white and ginger? :o

You could come back up and hunt pigs with them

the difference between auckland and a yogurt is that yogurt has an active living culture

I think you will find that statistically the majority of people living in Auckland were born outside of Auckland
And a lot of people born in Auckland are looking to get out

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Wirehunt

What do I do with the whippets and pointers?

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whip them and point at them of couse!

Quote:

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I hear there is some ginga playing in Dunners in a bit, wonder why not in the island of the pig?

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Ginge singers are banned up here. It's part of pig islands long term breeding strategy to thin out those of the ginge tinge by 2020.

You're not a ginge are you WH? Explains all that anger :D

Angry gingas reminds me of the programme Undatables :D

i feel for you mate maybe your just angry because they shut the jaffa factory down in Dunedin:ka boom:

Quote:

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Originally Posted by sako75

I think you will find that statistically the majority of people living in Auckland were born outside of Auckland
And a lot of people born in Auckland are looking to get out

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and the rest either cant afford to live there or cant afford to leave

Quote:

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Ginge singers are banned up here. It's part of pig islands long term breeding strategy to thin out those of the ginge tinge by 2020.

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seems to be efective cant remember the last day walker i saw here

Quote:

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Originally Posted by gsp follower

and the rest either cant afford to live there or cant afford to leave


seems to be efective cant remember the last day walker i saw here

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I have a plan :D

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Wirehunt

I feel sorry for you lot, HOWEVER that doesn't mean you can pack up and come down.

Had to go to jafaland Saturday night for a concert, at least that was great. Drove into town at 18:00 was outta there by 00:00....was meant to stay the night and see a few people Sunday, decided that a much wiser move was to get the hell out fast before I had to kill someone, possibly several people. Then there would be all that please explain, and court n shit.

You lot get fucked over buying coffee. Badly. Tastes like shit generally and is expensive, out of 10 coffees bought three were ok. You pig islanders can even fuck up a black coffee with no sugar. :omg::omg::omg::omg::omg::omg:
Petrol. tisk tisk.
Driving. Do you lot, or is it compulsory thing to go to the fuckwit driving school? LOOKING LONG AND HARD AT JAFAS.
Service...I thought the south had gotten bad, how wrong was I...

Never fucking ever bitch about the amount of trucks on the roads in the north. EEEVVVEERR. 38 trucks between jafaville and Wellington, including a couple of buses. A shorter distance by well over 100km in the south, 155 trucks, same highway and didn't include trucks on road words down here.
And the flash roads you've got.....

But the kicker.......the fucking TERRIBLE tourist drivers we get down here, and they are bad, make a lot of jafa drivers look even worse. Or put it the other way jafas make the worst tourist drivers look good.

Us southerners are starting to pool resources to see if we can ban jafas from all inbound ferries and planes.
PS: Rabbit problem in Taihape....10 in a 10 metre radius is a problem :D:D
ALMOST stopped the ute coming back off the ferry to kiss the southern dirt....

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Sorry to tell you this though Wire Hunt what you earn in 12 months takes me three and that's not working Fridays either got to be some advantage for the Jaffa issues