Thread: Cooking: the unsatisfactory, the dangerous, the unusual, the weird ass.

Originally Posted by Moa Hunter

Sultanas and brown sugar combined with vinegar in a chutney is an abomination before God and can be found recorded in Leviticus as 'Unclean for you'. It is a disgusting combination and any who make it are destined to Purgatory !!

I haven't read through Leviticus for decades, but I would have remembered God's instruction to the Israelites concerning sultanas,brown sugar, and vinegar in a chutney if I had.

You should go and get your money back on the bible you were reading, mate. Clearly Gordon Ramsay's been editing it pretty hard.

Originally Posted by Max Headroom

I haven't read through Leviticus for decades, but I would have remembered God's instruction to the Israelites concerning sultanas,brown sugar, and vinegar in a chutney if I had.

You should go and get your money back on the bible you were reading, mate. Clearly Gordon Ramsay's been editing it pretty hard.

Just checked my direct translation from the original Hebrew Texts, the first instructions regarding Chutney was given to Adam in the garden not to use apple. This was followed by the commandments written by Gods own hand on the stone tablets given to Moses, which lists the aforementioned combination 'Thou shalt not kill by thine hand nor make poisonous foods combining soured wine, dried grape and sweet sap or honey'

Originally Posted by Moa Hunter

Just checked my direct translation from the original Hebrew Texts, the first instructions regarding Chutney was given to Adam in the garden not to use apple. This was followed by the commandments written by Gods own hand on the stone tablets given to Moses, which lists the aforementioned combination 'Thou shalt not kill by thine hand nor make poisonous foods combining soured wine, dried grape and sweet sap or honey'

Shit this thread just went really weird

Originally Posted by Sideshow

Shit this thread just went really weird

No the humour just hit Warp Drive

Haven't had any disasters in the kitchen of late. Not true for Mrs MB. She announced that she was going to cook a whole 10lb snapper on the BBQ for a dinner party. We do cook whole fish, but they are generally smaller. I advised against it as difficult to get right, but she wanted to go ahead anyway. In the only way that I can manage my wife these days, I said OK, but I'm having nothing to do with it. She served up the fish on the night. It was overdone on the outside and perfectly raw on the inside. I said nothing!

Originally Posted by Phil_H

Not sure which church you go to.....but where do I sign up?

Cheers
Phil

Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster??

Originally Posted by Phil_H

Not sure which church you go to.....but where do I sign up?

Cheers
Phil

Church of good taste

my mum mixed up salt and sugar for an apricot slice recipe

the guests over at the time ate their portions without complaint (it was revolting)

dad took a bite out of his piece and spat his out while asking what the hell kind of trick is this

Was invited over for lunch after church one day long ago.

The lady of the house had just gotten a brand new microwave oven (her first) and had cooked a chicken for an hour on high.

It was so tough and dry it was damn near bulletproof.

Originally Posted by Moa Hunter

Church of good taste

That sounds a lot like my church!

And curried mince with onion carrot and cabbage

For all of you blokes who have wives, and have disgraced yourselves in the kitchen, this quote is for you: I'll never understand guys who pay dominatrixes to degrade them. Just get married and fold the towels wrong, dude.

I spent a year of varsity in Wellington in a 6 person flat. Every Sunday was the flat grocery shop. Might have been $20 or $30 in each. Roster was one person cook dinner on one night each week and Saturday nights nobody cooked as most were out socialising. Getting rostered on a Friday night dinner was always 5hit. The cupboards were pretty bare by then.
Worst meal ever served up that I had the joys of eating was a plate of curried cabbage. Pretty toxic aftermath.

I had 2 English flatties.
They were saving money to go on holiday
So each night for 2 months they limited their diet to save.
1 plate cabbage in microwave served with black pepper
1 plate sliced spuds, peeled,. Cooked in same said microwave
Both accompanied with a 3 l cask of red wine. And 1 bottle of the very cheapest Vodka.
A night.
Wekaman took them tramping....he can tell you about that entertainment